Please Stop Asking Pregnant Women These Things
Congratulations, you’re pregnant! Now, people of all kinds including your friends, family, store clerks, and complete strangers will bombard you with their opinions and questions. Of course, most of the time the comments are harmless or they don’t mean anything by it but there were a few things that really started to get under my skin.
Is this your first?
I got this question over and over from complete strangers and each time I felt unsure how to answer. Do I honor the son I lost in a very late miscarriage? Do I let a complete stranger know about my loss? I have another friend who had a son who was full term but only lived one day due to an extremely rare birth defect and this question broke her heart over and over.
Please, please, stop asking this question! It may seem harmless but it causes a lot of pain for many moms to be. It may seem like something to ask but asking anything else pregnancy related would be a much better choice.
Is the baby here yet?
Trust me, there will be a birth announcement. You really don’t need to ask.
Are you having twins?
Do I really need to say more about this one? Please stop asking, it’s annoying and having twins or multiples is a very high risk pregnancy which are even at a higher risk for miscarriage. Please consider this before joking around.
And finally, sometimes pregnant women don’t want to make small talk.
I was ecstatic to be pregnant and become a mom but after answering the same questions over and over, are you having a boy or a girl, when are you due, is this your first, etc. it slowly began to drive me insane. Now before you call me a meanie, I know people are just trying to be kind but as an introvert, I did not like the attention from random strangers and sometimes I was tired, cranky, my feet hurt and I was in no mood for small talk at the grocery store checkout line.
I also know of a woman who was carrying a baby with a major heart defect and doctors weren’t sure if the baby was going to survive outside of the womb, she told me how hard it was to put up a brave and happy face whenever she went out in public. No matter what she did, whether she avoided eye contact or gave very curt answers strangers would still bombard her with the usual questions.